11/15/08

What causes you to be a victim?

First off, let me say that I never watch the following show that I’m about to mention. I cancelled cable and now only have five channels, so it was the best and only show that was on. It was Dr. Phil, after you stop laughing, please read on…I think that Dr. Phil provides some great common sense to people that are stuck in different cycles. In the show, Dr. Phil asked a very important question, “What causes you to be a victim?” I was moved with compassion to see how Dr. Phil’s guests had suffered their whole lives because they remained victims. It captured my attention and caused me to think about the things that cause me to be and react like a victim. This is why I think that it’s important for everyone to evaluate how they are responding to things. More importantly do you find yourself in the same situations and feeling the same way? For everyone the answer to what is causing you to be a victim is very different. Some people become, act, or remain victims because of their own actions, or because of the actions of others. Our responses cause any number of reactions ranging from depression to anger. To be open and honest in this blog, when I asked myself this question, I answered, “I respond and act like a victim when I see preferential treatment and injustice.” In further thought I challenged myself to think about specific instances where I find myself being a victim. Responding like a victim may be initial but it should never be long lasting. To see the guests on Dr. Phil’s show, and in thinking about others I know I see how someone can get themselves into a downward spiral of continual victimization. This person may go from being the victimized to the victimizer. They cause themselves to be continuously be a victim by failing to recognize the circumstances that cause them to be a victim. What do we do though to stop being a victim and overcome our victimization? Well obviously recognizing that you’re being a victim is the first step. After that you must chose to either face the problems head on or take the proper steps to seek healing. When dogs get wounded, they will lick their wound, never allowing the wound to fully heal. These same dogs also don’t allow someone else to help them heal their wounds. We have the same tendency to be like dogs, we think we can take care of the wound by hiding it and not allowing someone to help us. In the next couple of weeks, I challenge you to ask those closest to you when you respond like a victim, or at least to spend some time thinking about what or who causes you to act like a victim and once you recognize it, overcome it. It’s not easy and may take some time, but you’ll be so much healthier and glad that you did.

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