9/27/11

Enter the Void

Since my last blog post a lot and yet not much has happened. My life feels crazier, and I thought life was supposed to be less crazy! A misconceived notion though as I remember a 60+ year old professor telling me that each time he and his wife moved on to perceivable less stressful and lower responsibility, the reverse actually happened.

Which brings me to the title of this blog…enter the void. When God places a calling on your life, giving you direction, it is typically in contrast to everything in human nature. He’s great about providing you with the end destination…but the path, the hills and valleys, the twists and turns that are just around the bend are unclear.

Proceed with caution!

God doesn’t provide turn-by-turn directions with a checklist of needed skills and lessons or a packing list for the journey. Yet there it is…the end…the destination…enter the void.

Two analogies in the Bible clearly outline entering the void: the Israelites exodus from Egypt and Peter’s journey outside a boat. The Israelites were led out of a life of slavery to Mt. Sinai to worship God, before being led to the Promised Land. Enter the void. After departing for the journey that lay ahead of them, it didn’t take long before they started to desire they’re former life of slavery. They’re petitions and complaints were based upon two things: comfort and security the most basic of human needs.

Peter walked on water. It’s fascinating to think about. He got out of a fairly small boat and stepped onto this massive body of water. Enter the void. That took faith…who knows how many steps he took…but it didn’t take long for him to see the wind and become fearful and begin to sink. Fear was the culprit.

So why do I sometimes question God’s call on my life…what is it about comfort and security that are so appealing? I’m a creature of habit, and when you take out the bottom two tiers on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs the whole pyramid seems to crumble and fall. I’ve been emotional, insecure, and fearful. While it would seem as a Christian, faith should be enough…which it is…it doesn’t mean that I don’t long for safety and security to the point of questioning what I’m doing. The void for me has been a massive black hole of sorts filled with uncertainty and big looming questions.

Stepping out of my world to help plant a church has been crazy good for me and my faith. My exodus has taken all of the security and safety measures that I’ve worked so hard for and up heaved them. I keep asking why would I leave a good job? Why would I leave financial security? Why leave a place in which I’m well established? Because God said so…and I have to keep reminding myself that that statement alone should be enough. When asked to enter a void, we are leaving fullness behind and walking into emptiness...a void…a space that has yet to be filled. For which I’m sure, that this is exactly how God wants us…empty and naked needing our most basic of needs to be filled.

I’ve always liked 1 Corinthians 14, in which Paul writes that right now we know in part, and see in part…but soon we will know in full and see in full all the things that God is doing. This is what entering the void for me feels like; entering a room I’ve never been in with the lights off, stumbling, reaching, groping, proceeding with caution, uncertain, and relying on all of my senses to help navigate the room. I enter the void each day…reaching for some sort of security to grab a hold of…and there He is, waiting to take my hand and lead me through the void.

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